(ttto "The Mary Ellen Carter" by Stan Rogers, the one that inspired "The Eensie Weensie Spider Rise Again!")
It went down last an hour ago, I'm sure it will again. I wish that I was drinking because all I get's the pain. Too close to finishing my job, I'm dealt a mortal blow, And the limping lagged response time slows some more. I had five windows open when she finally went awash. I worked like hell to save my files; she cared not for my loss. And the groan she gave as she locked up, it caused me to proclaim That the cursed rotten beast's gone down again! Well, I'd like to write her off but admin won't a nickel spend. Better twenty hours of my life than a memory extend. Volunteers for social justice get slave wages or below, And when the abends are in flood we have to row. But we flame the beast around the year, some days around the clock, For she's worth a quarter million jokes and a lot of filthy talk. And with every jar across the bar we swear with might and main, I'll bet that cursed rotten beast's gone down again! Down again! Down again! May its name be accursed In the language of men. If you write or draw or search the Net Your work it will abend! And like the filthy beast it is Go down again! All spring now I've been working on a Mac lent by a friend. Three dives a day when memory locks, twice in illegal ends. Thank God it's only six-o-clock and the deadlines here are slow Or I'd never have the strength to tell my woe. But I've patched my files, booted once more, backed up and hunkered down, Set autosave on every app, set surge protectors 'round. Tomorrow morn I'll hit the switch, write just one story plain, And watch the cursed rotten beast go down again! But we couldn't leave her be, you see, no matter how we wail. She's served us lines so many times, researching our tales. And the laughing, drunken rats we are who'd see her in her grave, We still would want her back another day. . . My friends, when life's adversity has dealt the final blow And surfing hardware-free into the final Net I go, Turn to, and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain -- And smash some chip-brained beast up in my name! Down again! Down again! May its name be accursed In the language of men. If you write or draw or search the Net Your work it will abend! And like the filthy beast it is Go down again! -- Anitra, novice filkerabend: This term is used in its original meaning of "abnormal job termination" -- a computer crash. Ironically, it is now used on some newsgroups to mean, "forced absence from the keyboard, due to an obsession with Life."