The Fromper is a small invisible creature, which is why it is
vanishing -- no, wait, don't scream and run away just yet. The
*is* an endangered species, and it *does* need your help.
Not much is known about Frompers because they are, after all,
invisible. The only documented activity of the Fromper is dancing on the
ceiling at night. It is believed, from some other characteristics noted
later, that the Fromper only dances on ceilings in rooms that are
occupied, but this is difficult to make certain of. If a Fromper dances
on the ceiling of an empty room, does it make any noise?
Frompers do not seem to be limited to residences. Fromper
activity has been reported in office buildings by late-night workers. I
have heard noises on the ceiling in an Air Force radar facility, late at
night. There are reports that the Pentagon is attempting to get funding
for the study of a certain Ceiling Noise Phenomenon.
Why should you care about preserving the existence of a being
whose sole activity is dancing on your ceiling at night?
For one thing, the Fromper is a very obliging being. Although
a Fromper actually does is Ceiling Dance, a Fromper will take the credit,
or the blame, for anything else -- never deny, never complain.
"Who ate the cake I was saving?"
"The Frompers did it!"
"Who spilled cola on Omni magazine?"
"The Frompers did it!"
"Someone already took the trash out!"
"Frompers must have done it!" (That way no one will expect you to
do it again.)
But the most important function of Frompers is linked to the
reason they are becoming extinct.
Frompers are symbiotic with the human imagination.
I do not have to cite the scientific studies. A moment's thought
will prove it to you. People with a great deal of imagination have more
Frompers around them; when you have a lot of Frompers around, you have a
great deal of imagination. If you start seeking out Frompers in your
house, you will find your imagination surging.
I don't have to point out to you that imagination is in a sad
slump in today's culture. If you insisted on proof, I could order you to
watch a half-hour of primetime television, but I really don't want to do
that to you.
That is why America's Frompers are vanishing. *And* that is how
we can save them!
Seek out all signs of imagination! Encourage them! Buy the
of imaginative writers -- buy tickets to imaginative movies. Dress
imaginatively. Cook an imaginative meal. Write that story you've always
thought your friends would laugh at.
Save America's Vanishing Frompers!
Seek out your Frompers. Sing to them. Dream for them while they
dance. Let them nourish your imagination.
One of the most reliable Fromper Detectors is the Cat. Cats are,
themselves, totally devoid of imagination. They always see what is
actually there. The cats of highly imaginative people have been observed
to see more Frompers. A cat can therefore be an adjunct to your Fromper
The cat can also help keep them on the ceiling and away from the
Join the Campaign!
Nominate your favorite
imagination-building site for The Fromper Award!
Thalia's Creative Humor Page