On Risk (1:2)


I have heard your heart, oh my child. You have said in your heart, "If I put myself forward, I shall be flamed, yea even flame-broiled, upon the newsgroups and the chat lines and even unto the webpages shall I be flamed. Yea, and I shall be spammed, and even the spammers, they will flame me. Therefore I will not put myself forward, that I be not flamed, and I be not spammed."

And I say unto thee my child, "Fat chance." For thou shall be flamed, upon the newsgroups and the mailing lists and even unto the webpages shall thou be flamed, whether thou is as silent as a lamb or runneth off at the keyboard like Anitra Freeman. And if you have a mailbox somewhere, you will have spam in it, for this is a law of the universe equal to "ditches suck Camaros". And these things are why God has given thee a delete key.

So put thy voice out into the world, and put thy heart out into the world, and when they spam thee take, and eat, for this is meat for parody; and when they flame thee, for whatever they flamest thee for, say unto them,

"Speakest thou more, for I have just now washed my hair, and it is not yet dry upon my head."

Monday, 23-Dec-2002 21:55:59 EST