Five years ago my son decided he didn't want anything to do with his "crazy mom" any more. This has happened to a lot of mothers with bipolar disorder, including mine. I divorced her for about seven years. It was several years after she had stabilized on lithium before I ventured to rebuild a relationship with her again. This has happened for a lot of mothers with bipolar disorder, too. I'm still waiting to see if it happens for me.

Mother's Day 2000

"Promise me you will never have children," my great-aunt said to my mother.
"Armageddon is coming -- a terrible time to be born!"
      "How dare you deny my children life," said my mother,
      "with all its terror and pain and glory.
     You don't know what will happen to you, or to
     a child --
     and you don't know what she may do."
"Promise me you will never have children," my guru said to me.
"You are foolish and immature, and so is the human race.
Let it all die, and be replaced."
      "Many people are wiser than I," I said,
     "but many are even more foolish.
      and in general
      I think I'll gamble
      that the general mean sum
      of humanity plus my son
     will be slightly greater
     than your general meanness."
"You are a terrible woman," I told my mother,
"I'd like to forget you exist."
      But every day now I celebrate
     the strengths she passed on to me.
"You are a terrible woman," my son said,
"I'd like to forget you exist."
     But I see in his pictures from around the world
      the strengths of two women who stood up to Armageddon
     and I am glad.

~Anitra L. Freeman