Save America's Vanishing Frompers!

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The Fromper is a small invisible creature, which is why it is vanishing -- no, wait, don't scream and run away just yet. The Fromper *is* an endangered species, and it *does* need your help.

Not much is known about Frompers because they are, after all, invisible. The only documented activity of the Fromper is dancing on the ceiling at night. It is believed, from some other characteristics noted later, that the Fromper only dances on ceilings in rooms that are occupied, but this is difficult to make certain of. If a Fromper dances on the ceiling of an empty room, does it make any noise?

Frompers do not seem to be limited to residences. Fromper activity has been reported in office buildings by late-night workers. I have heard noises on the ceiling in an Air Force radar facility, late at night. There are reports that the Pentagon is attempting to get funding for the study of a certain Ceiling Noise Phenomenon.

Why should you care about preserving the existence of a being whose sole activity is dancing on your ceiling at night?

For one thing, the Fromper is a very obliging being. Although all a Fromper actually does is Ceiling Dance, a Fromper will take the credit, or the blame, for anything else -- never deny, never complain.

"Who ate the cake I was saving?"

"The Frompers did it!"

"Who spilled cola on Omni magazine?"

"The Frompers did it!"

"Someone already took the trash out!"

"Frompers must have done it!" (That way no one will expect you to do it again.)

But the most important function of Frompers is linked to the reason they are becoming extinct.

Frompers are symbiotic with the human imagination.

I do not have to cite the scientific studies. A moment's thought will prove it to you. People with a great deal of imagination have more Frompers around them; when you have a lot of Frompers around, you have a great deal of imagination. If you start seeking out Frompers in your house, you will find your imagination surging.

I don't have to point out to you that imagination is in a sad slump in today's culture. If you insisted on proof, I could order you to watch a half-hour of primetime television, but I really don't want to do that to you.

That is why America's Frompers are vanishing. *And* that is how we can save them!

Seek out all signs of imagination! Encourage them! Buy the books of imaginative writers -- buy tickets to imaginative movies. Dress imaginatively. Cook an imaginative meal. Write that story you've always thought your friends would laugh at.

Save America's Vanishing Frompers!

Seek out your Frompers. Sing to them. Dream for them while they dance. Let them nourish your imagination.

One of the most reliable Fromper Detectors is the Cat. Cats are, themselves, totally devoid of imagination. They always see what is actually there. The cats of highly imaginative people have been observed to see more Frompers. A cat can therefore be an adjunct to your Fromper raising campaign.

The cat can also help keep them on the ceiling and away from the cola.

Join the Campaign!
Nominate your favorite imagination-building site for The Fromper Award!

Fromper Sequel

Thalia's Creative Humor Page
Thursday, 17-Jan-2002 11:18:38 EST