Written by Carl Al Currier
As members of the SPCIO (Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Inanimate Objects), we hereby state our opposition to and utter dismay at, among other things, the abuse of inanimate objects, such as:
- over-tightening wheel lug nuts
- using improper grades of motor oil
- neglecting to clean grime off backs of refrigerators
- breaking book bindings by opening them too far (or 'earmarking' the pages )
- spindling or mutilating the local currency
- rusty fishhooks
- bombing of cities
Notes on SPCIO:
Founded in late November 1993 in a snow filled campground near the south rim of the Grand Canyon, Arizona, 25 miles +/- west of Flagstaff, while trying to change a flat tire for a few weeks.
Original seven members *:
Statement of Beliefs: The human is the primate creature who colonized the seven continents by the creative design and use of tools . The past, present and future of the human race depends on (amongst other things) the understanding, inventing, construction, and responsible use of tools. That tools include all inanimate objects from books to money to ships, including all ships from rowboats to rocket ships.
- Carl Al Currier, President and Founder, with 15" wide rims
- family of four in an old Dodge pickup, almost with a camper, with a selection of 15", 16", and 16.5" rims
- a guy in an old Winnebago with "15 inch split rims", with many used tires
- a Swiss tourist named Frederick, speaking only French, in an old Oldsmobile, with 14" rims (and no spare), planning an ice climb in Afghanistan
Goals: Education of fellow members of the human race in use of tools
Rules of Joining this Society: A joining member must add one inanimate object to the list, along with a brief reason for respecting the object
* as established in 1993, the original members ate cold barbecued turkey in deep snow for Thanksgiving, got drunk and dispersed. I seem to be the only sane, sober and surviving member, now ready again to start a new membership drive. Back
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